I Still Love You
by TurquoiseRose16
Summary: I love you, yet you don't love me. You break my heart, but I fix yours. I let you cry, yet I hold it in. You bleed when he hurts you, yet I stitch up your wounds. He loves you for your intelligence while I love you for you.


**So this is my first song-fic. I absolutely love Skillet and when I heard this song, I thought it would fit perfectly with the whole Jara relationship. Be warned it will end sadly. The song is **_**It's Not Me It's You, by Skillet**_**.**

**Disclaimer: I sadly do not own House of Anubis, Mara, or Jerome but if I did they would already be a couple.**

_Let's get the story straight,_

_You were a poison._

_You flooded through my veins,_

_You left me broken._

The whole time you were with _him_, I watched you from afar. You were happy and that should have made me happy, but it didn't. I felt more alone than I had felt my entire life. I shared my secrets with you, let you in behind my walls, but you still abandoned me. You are like a poison. You infected me. And I fell in love with you. The anger and jealousy flooded through my veins, every time I saw you with _him._ The feeling of longing filled every crevice of my body. My heart broke a little more every time I saw you, knowing fully I couldn't call you mine. I love you. Can you even hear me? I love you. Yet, you left me alone. You left me broken. Hanging on a thread of sanity. I loved you, but that didn't matter, because you never cared.

_You tried to make me think,_

_That the blame was all on me._

_With the pain you put me through,_

_And now I know that it's not me it's you._

When _he_ broke up with you, you immediately blamed me. You told me how if I wasn't constantly following you around like a lost puppy he wouldn't have left you. You told me that he thought you were cheating on him, and he couldn't trust you. Yeah, how **he** couldn't trust you. I have watched him stare dreamily at other girls when you talked to him. I have seen him flirt with cheerleaders when you weren't around. I have let you cry on my shoulder, as you tell me of all the dates he has blown off, wondering if he even likes you anymore. I have always been there when he wasn't, yet you tell me that it's my fault?

_It's not me it's you_

_Always has been you._

_All the lies and stupid thing you say and do_

_It's you_

_It's not me it's you_

_All the lies and pain you put me through_

_I know that it's not me it's you_

_You_

_You_

_It's not me it's you, you_

I walked into Anubis House after school, and I heard laughter from the kitchen. I sneaked around the corner and listened intently.

"Yeah, I broke up with her. Not for the reason I said. I lied because I didn't want her to start crying and have me become the school jackass. I told her how I thought she was cheating on me with Jerome. And she bought it. What a dumb bitch," _he _said.

"Ha, that was a good one, boo. For being so smart she can be really stupid sometimes. I'm just glad you dumped her. I really missed you," she said

I heard enough. I hurried upstairs to your room and knocked on the door. You opened it slightly, saw it was me and slammed it closed. I heard a muffled voice that said to go away. I didn't. I opened the door and walked over to you. I told you what had happened and you walked up to me, looked me straight in the eye and slapped me across my face. With tears streaming down your cheeks, you bolted out of your room, leaving me sitting on the bed in shock. I gingerly touched the spot you hit and winced at how badly it stung. You called me a liar. You told me I could rot in hell. You asked me how my parents could even stand me, and then laughed. Remembering how they never could. You hated me. But, I still loved you. You wished that I would die. But I still loved you. No matter what you say or do, I will always love you, yet you never realized that.

_So here we go again_

_The same fight we're always in._

_I don't care so why pretend_

_Wake me when your lecture ends._

Somehow you and _he_ became a couple again. And you looked truly happy, so that made me happy, right? The mathlete and the athlete, who would have thought? Everything was great until he left for California. He was trying to get a scholarship to a sports school or something along those lines. He would be gone for almost an entire week. You were crushed, and when I tried to help, you yelled at me like usual. I don't know when this fight that we are constantly in will end. I didn't do anything so why do you blame me for everything that goes wrong? That week the battle didn't end, it was more like a truce. I even helped you with your campaign for the position of school representative. I knew that we were getting closer, and I'm sure you felt it too, but then _he_ returned and ruined everything. Ok, so I spent all my time helping you, every spare second, yet when he comes back you just abandon me. You even give me a lecture on how you're not the smear campaign type. You never even thanked me for my help. You just left. Again. How many times do I have to say it? I love you. Why don't you care?

_You tried to make me small_

_Make me fall and it's your entire fault_

_With the pain you put me through_

_And now I know that it's not me it's you_

The next year, you two are still an item. I think I have finally gotten over you. Things are perfect for you, until you find out that he is leaving for Australia. He leaves the next day and you are devastated. You abandoned me, you broke me, you poisoned me, yet I'm still here for you. I still love you. We get closer and the old feelings bubble to the surface. You help me reunite with my father, who is in prison, and you are good friend to Poppy. Life is perfect and I finally feel like I have a chance with you. I bring you flowers as a thank you gift and you hug me. I can feel the electricity shoot through my veins. I love you. The next day I ask you to a movie and you agree. Little did I know that he returned earlier that day? We were going to meet by my locker after school, and we would go straight to the theatre. It was almost four, yet you promised that you would be here at three. As I walked to the house, I heard someone say that he had returned. That explains everything. You constantly crush me. Make me feel small, yet I still love you. I fell for you and that is your fault. But not getting over you is mine. I decided to visit my dad instead of looking for you. I mean I was planning on seeing him anyway. And I didn't feel like having to compete for your affection again. I mean I love you, shouldn't that be enough?

_It's not me it's you_

_Always has been you_

_All the lies and stupid thing you say and do_

_It's you_

_It's not me it's you_

_All the lies and pain you put me through_

_I know that it's not me it's you_

_You_

_You_

_It's not me it's you, you_

I hailed a cab and slid in the back. I told him the location and I could see the questioning look in his eyes, yet he stayed silent. No one spoke the entire ride. We were almost there, yet I could feel an overhanging sense of dread. Something wasn't right. I took out my cell and texted you. _You forgot about the movie. _ I got a reply shortly after. _I'm sorry, but Mick came back today and I wanted to tell him something. _I choked back a bitter laugh. I knew that even the idea of you liking me was too great for words. But though my heart was shattered I still loved you. Oh_, alright. I guess we could go another time then._ The light turned green and the car slowly sped up. _Thanx, Jer. I will see you tonight. _I never got to reply because bright lights from my right caught my attention. I used my arms to cover my face and I braced for impact.

_Let's get the story straight_

_You were a poison_

I should have been scared, but I wasn't. I only thought of you. You intoxicated me. You poisoned me.

_Flooding through my veins_

_Driving me insane._

You are amazing. You drive me crazy. You constantly drive me insane. But, I love you because of that.

_And now you're gone away_

_I'm no longer choking_

The only time I can breathe is when I'm away from you. I can't speak right when I'm with you. It's like I choke on my tongue. But, if that's what the cost is to be right by your side, I'll pay it.

_From the pain you put me through_

_And now I know that it's not me it's you._

I love you, yet you don't love me. You break my heart, but I fix yours. I let you cry, yet I hold it in. You bleed when he hurts you, yet I stitch up your wounds. He loves you for your intelligence, while I love you for you. You never feel the pain because I take it from you. I still love you.

_It's not me it's you_

_Always has been you._

_All the lies and stupid thing you say and do_

_It's you_

_It's not me it's you_

_All the lies and pain you put me through_

_I know that it's not me it's you_

_You_

_You_

_It's not me it's you, you_

Sirens awakened me from the deep sleep. I could barely open my eyes. It was dark. The car had been totaled. The metal pinned me to the car seat. I could only smell and taste blood. For years, I had wondered what it would be like to die and now I was going to find out. Sighing, I tried to clear my mind, but I only thought of you. Your long, dark, silky hair and your deep chocolate eyes. To tell you the truth, this is not such a bad way to die. I just wish you were here with me. I could feel my heart slow and my vision was turning black. I felt the car being pried open. But they were too late. Everyone was always too late. And even though you are the reason I'm here, in this situation. I still love you.

_I know that it's not me it's you_

_You_

_You_

_It's not me it's you, you_

I heard my phone beep and picked it up. _You forgot about the movie. _My eyes widened and I mentally slapped myself. I sent a message back. _I'm sorry, but Mick came back today, and I wanted to tell him something._ A few seconds later I received another message. Oh_, alright. I guess we could go another time then. _He was too nice. _Thanx, Jer. I will see you tonight. _I couldn't wait to see him. I had some exciting news. I expected a reply, but I never got one. _Jer, are you alright? _I waited a few moments. And nothing. _Jerome, you are starting to worry me. _Finally, I got one back. But, it made me feel worse. _Mar, I love you and I'm sorry. Don't send a message back, I won't respond. You crushed me, and broke my heart, yet I still love you. _A few tears collected in my eyes. Questions were flying through my mind. He loved me. Why am I too late? Where is he? The phone ringing snapped me out of my trance. I must have been standing here for a good fifteen minutes. I picked up the phone. The police told me that he had been in a car accident and was killed. He had died within a short time because the impact snapped part of his spine. I thanked them for calling, and then slammed the phone down. I broke down and sobbed, but this time he wasn't here to comfort me. I didn't mean to forget about the date, I just wanted to break up with Mick so I could tell Jerome I liked him, no loved him. But, I was too late. All I wanted was to feel his arms around me. I wanted to feel protected. Loved. I longed to see his eyes. The amazing blue orbs that put the most beautiful of aquamarines to shame. I wanted to hear his deep soothing voice. I wanted to watch and be a part of the pranks he so elaborately created. He was gone and I needed him. But, I still love him.

_I know that it's not me it's you_

Two weeks later, Trudy found her snuggled in his blankets, as usual, holding a picture of him against her chest. She had a sheet of paper tight within her grasp. Smeared mascara caked her tear stained cheeks. Her skin was pale and cold. An empty bottle of anti-depression pills sat on the nightstand. She was still breathing, but barely. She removed the paper from her stiff fingers, and called an ambulance. Tear drops smeared the neat cursive. And you could see small smears of blood. She paused and lifted up her wrist. Deep cuts covered both of her wrists. On her left wrist you could see his name engraved in her flesh. Since he died, she was in a deep depression. The poor dear couldn't help it though. It was obvious that they were soul mates. When one half dies, the other soon follows. She could faintly hear the approaching sirens. She just hoped that they weren't too late. She eyes traveled back to the page. _Let's get the story straight, you were a poison, flooding through my veins, driving me insane, and now you're gone away. And I know that it's not me it's you, you, you. It's not me it's you, you. Yet, I still love you._ Tears filled her own eyes as she finished reading. Small gasps made her glance down. She was trembling and gasping for air. Her eyes momentarily fluttered open and she froze. She whispered a barely audible phrase and her eyes closed. She let out a deep sigh and stopped breathing. Trudy heard the ambulance stop in front of the house and a moment later heavy footsteps pounded up the stairs. They were too late. Everyone was always too late. She walked out of the room and let the single phrase that had been uttered hang in the air. She still loved him. And he still loved her. And that was the only thing that mattered. Because through every trial, and every lie they still loved each other. Shouldn't that be enough?

_I know that it's not me it's you_

_You_

_You_

_It's not me it's you, you_

**Yes, I know it wasn't my best work, but hey for being sick and doing this in between writing my research paper, I suppose it isn't that bad. Please review and yes I am obsessed with skillet.**


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